Blindfolded
by siriuslives394
Summary: An all dialogue oneshot. James has blindfolded Sirius, Sirius wants to know why. Not slash.


A/N: Here's an all dialogue thing I wrote. It's set in MWPP time, but only James and Sirius are in it. Did I get James' and Sirius' character's right? Oh, they're still at Hogwarts.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or the Marauders or... well, anything.

**Blindfolded**

"James?"

"Yeah, Siri?"

"Where are we going?"

"Can't tell."

"What? Why not?"

"Cause that would defeat the purpose of blindfolds."

"I still don't understand why the blindfold is necessary."

"Cause I don't want you to see, that's why."

"C'mon! I wouldn't peek!"

"Hm."

"Hey! I wouldn't!"

"That's what you said last time."

"What do you mean, 'last time'?"

"Your surprise party."

"... oh..."

"_And _we were trying to give you your Christmas present."

"Which time? Cause I looked both times."

"When we all chipped in for that used motorbike?"

"Oh, yeah. The one I hid in the forest?"

"Yeah, that one."

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we where?"

"Wherever you're taking me."

"Oh! No."

"Damn."

"Tsk tsk."

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you just 'tsk' me?"

"Uh... no?"

"You did!"

"No. You must be losing it, Siri."

"I heard it!"

"Your hearing's going, old boy."

"No, you 'tsked' me! Wow, Evans is getting to you."

"Shut it."

"Why did you 'tsk' me?"

"I already told you, I didn't!"

"Fine. If, _hypothetically_, you 'tsk'ed me, why would you?

"Hypothetically, right Sirius?"

"Yeah."

"Cause of your language."

"My _language_?! Jesus, Evans really _is_ getting to you!"

"Hey! You said hypothetically!"

"I had my fingers crossed."

"Liar!"

"No! Really! I did!"

"Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"You know that I can _see_ your fingers, right? They weren't crossed."

"Uh... my toes were crossed..."

"Can you actually do that?"

"... Maybe."

"You lie a lot."

"I said maybe, not yes."

"It counts as a lie."

"You have a messed up theory of lies, James."

"No."

"Yeah."

"NO."

"YEAH."

"NO!"

"YEAH!"

"What was the point of that?"

"I dunno."

"Sirius?"

"What?"

"Do you actually _know _anyone who can cross their toes?"

"Uh... I think Peter can, actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he's a man of many talents."

"Name five Sirius."

"Fine. He can cross his toes, make me omelets, turn into a rat, make me omelets and stand on his head."

"That's four."

"No, it's five."

"It's four, you said 'make me omelets' twice."

"No I didn't."

"Yeah you did, Siri."

"... oops."

"Yeah."

"I can name another, though."

"Really, Padfoot? What?"

"He can jump out of cakes."

"... shut it."

"Ooooh. Do you not want to reminisce?"

"I said _shut it._"

"But it was so _funny_. That was the best birthday party you've had yet."

"Not for me!"

"It was _hilarious_ for Remus and myself. I mean, I knew that he couldn't handle Firewhisky well... but we never thought he'd actually _take _the dare!"

"I seriously considered memory charming myself, Sirius."

"C'mon! It wasn't that bad!"

"Sirius. Have you _ever _experienced a naked, drunk Wormtail jumping out of your birthday cake."

"No. It's an experience that I tend to avoid."

"And, to top it off, he wants to share the love and give me a big _hug._"

"Yeah, I remember. Your face was... well, I'll have blackmail pictures till the day you die."

"_You have pictures?!_"

"Well, naturally."

"I hate you Sirius."

"You know you looooooove me."

"LIES!"

"James?"

"What do you want now?"

"D'you know what my first gift to your future child, and my future godchild, will be?"

"Do I want to know?"

"Probably not, but you know you'll ask anyway."

"What will it be?"

"One of those pictures."

"Don't you dare corrupt mine and Lilikin's child!"

"... you've already decided it's going to be Evans' child, too?

"Naturally. Who else would Lily be with?"

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever noticed how close Moony and Evans are?"

"It's not... They're not... Sirius! Tell me all that you know. _NOW!_"

"Relax! I was joking!"

"Never. Joke. About. That. Again."

"That's an unhealthy obsession Prongs."

"Nothing about her in unhealthy."

"Oh?"

"With her beautiful hair tomato red hair, and her wonderfully green eyes. And how her beautiful face goes all red when she yells at me."

"You make her sound like Christmas."

"What?

"All that red and green! It's like Christmas."

"Don't insult her!"

"Hey I'm not! You have to admit, though, she kinda does look like Christmas..."

"D'you know what Padfoot?"

"What?"

"Your status as my future child's godfather is being called into question."

"What?! Noooo James!"

"Hmmm, I'm sure Moony would enjoy being godfather."

"Prongs! My friend. My brother. Have I _ever _told you how much you mean to me?"

"Flattery won't work."

"What will? I'm not having kids, I need to spoil yours!"

"Tell me that thing that you won't tell me."

"No! Absolutely not! That is _not _happening!"

"Fine. Maybe Snape wants to be godfather..."

"AH! JAMES! NEVER SPEAK LIKE THAT!"

"Will you tell me then?"

"Do I get to be godfather?"

"... maybe."

"Fine."

"Excellent. Now, speak!"

"I'm terrified of... of..."

"What?"

"Those plastic pink muggle flamingoes."

"_Really?_"

"Yeah! Shut up about it!"

"Oh dear lord! Really?!"

"_James._"

"Yeah, sorry Padfoot. But.. really?"

"Yes! I'm absolutely petrified of them!"

"But... why?

"I don't know! They're just so... creepy! With their blank, staring eyes! And they're _pink_ so they're trying to seem all _innocent,_ you know? But you just _know _that one cold, dark night the flamingoes will awaken and kill everyone in their sleep!"

"When you put it that way, they do sound scary."

"I know."

"D'you think there's a phobia name for 'scared of plastic pink muggle flamingoes'?"

"I dunno."

"It'd probably be something like 'muggflamingoplastipinkphobia'."

"That's really stupid James."

"No! It makes more sense than the real phobia names!"

"How so?"

"Who actually knows what they mean? We, the ignorant people, don't know all the scientific names for everything a person could possibly be afraid of!"

"You said 'we the ignorant people'."

"Yeah, so?"

"I'm not ignorant!"

"Hate to break it to you, Siri, but yeah, you are."

"I find that offensive."

"Good for you."

"... you're mean to me."

"Are you actually _pouting_?"

"No! Shut it!"

"Wow... the great Sirius Black. The amazing pouter."

"You know the pictures of you and Wormtail?"

"_Yes. Thank you._"

"What would happen if they just happened to find their way around the school?"

"Someone would lose future godparent ship."

"The pictures are worse."

"You do know that your blindfolded and at my mercy?"

"Have I ever told you how much you mean to me, James?"

"Already tried that one."

"Damn. And don't you dare 'tsk' me."

"Don't worry. I wasn't going to."

"Prongs?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are we? I hear voices."

"Oh, don't worry."

"James? James?! _James?! JAMES?!_"

"What?!"

"_Tell me where we are_."

"Oh, nowhere."

"Tell me now."

"Um... The Great Hall."

"What? Why're we there?"

"Cause I led you in here."

"_Why?_"

"Oh, because Moony, Wormtail and I thought it'd be amusing to have me lead a blindfolded you around the school."

"Why?!"

"To see you look like an idiot."

"I hate you."

"Revoked Godfather ship."

"Shutting up."

A/N: There you have it! One one-shot written by me till 3 in the morning! Huzzah!


End file.
